| The Given Order |
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| October 2005 | |
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Fluffy Pig Inspires Jihad A British borough council in Dudley has banned all pig-related products from the workplace after complaints by Muslim workers that such novelty items were offensive during the holiday of Ramadan. Islamic law forbids eating pork, leading these employees to view the pink pig-shaped stress reliever that prompted the complaint as an unendurable insult. Authorities have ordered that such menacing objects as porcelain pigs, pig calendars, and even a tissue box with Winnie the Pooh and Piglet be removed from the workplace. Mike Williams, the councilor responsible for the ban, says that there will be a decision after Ramadan whether to bring the objects back. Catholic Church Plugs Ears, Sings “La-La-La I Can’t Hear You” Pope Benedict XVI’s September 22 sanction of a ban on gays in the priesthood has met resounding opposition from the Catholic laity. Many consider the ban a heavy-handed political move that will exclude qualified, celibate homosexual men from entering seminaries at a time when the decline in seminary enrollment has reached near-crisis levels. The Catholic Church has paid out almost a billion dollars over the last fifty years to victims of sexual abuse by priests, and there is speculation that the ban on gay seminarians has been approved by the Vatican simply because the Church cannot afford them. The introduction of such a cold calculus into a profession based on Christian love is predicted to delay the Counter-Counter-Counter-Reformation another several decades. |
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